


Making It Up As We Go

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU from the end of 5.16, M/M, Magical phones that resolve messages, Multi, Not porn, Too many chick flick moments, samulet fix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:17:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2213799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam need to deal with learning just how badly the angels have messed up their lives for the past two years, starting with the fallout from their trip to Heaven.  Cas "helps".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Numbered List of Why Angels are Dicks

“Sammy.”

It was one word; not even a word, really, just a name. But from Dean, that one name conveyed so much to Sam. Dean had something he didn’t want to talk about, that he really didn’t think he wanted to know the answer to, but the question would prey on him until he got an answer, and then he’d find a way to live with what he’d learned. Sometimes, Sam had no idea what Dean was about to say beforehand; sometimes, like now, he knew exactly what was coming.

“I need to know, Sam,” Dean said. “Is our life really so bad that your idea of Heaven is getting away from it?”

There was an unspoken question, one that Sam picked up on as easily as if Dean had actually said the words. “No, Dean!” Sam ran a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out where to start. “Okay, first point: you saw three… no, wait. First point: Zachariah is a dick. Every angel we know, except Cas, is a dick. They have manipulated us in ways we don’t even know about until well after the fact, Dean SMITH. Is it really so hard that they would shove us through memories that would piss the other off? I got memories of leaving, of being with other families. You got memories of before I was born. Memories of Mom.”

“My first memory was of you and me shooting off fireworks,” Dean protested.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Your first memory? You mean the one you left to come find me so that we could find Joshua before the angels sent us back? The one I didn’t get to see?”

“Yeah, so how come I didn’t find you in a memory like that one, huh?” Dean asked. “How could the angels know I’d go looking for you instead of the other way around?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because Cas rebelled for you, and the angels knew that you’d be the one he’d contact? Or maybe the first memory I had wasn’t the one you found me in. Ever think of that? I was actually wondering why I got pulled out of the memory I woke up in, right up until you told me what was going on.” He could see the skeptical look on Dean’s face, but he didn’t really care. Dean could believe him or not about this one. “I don’t even know when it was, there are a lot of nights it could have been. You, me, on the hood of the Impala with a cooler of beer.”

“Watching the stars?” Dean said. “Yeah. Great memory.” Dean was sarcastic, but Sam could tell there was just a little bit of easing of the pain in there, just a hint that Dean was letting it go.

“It is.” Sam loved those nights. “Right then: second point. You saw three memories, Dean. I saw two of yours, and in both cases, they were about you and Mom. I wasn’t there, at least not as anything recognizably me. Is your idea of heaven really going back to a time when you didn’t have to put up with me?” Sam had been kind of hurt by that, right up until he recognized Bonesy. That’s when he’d figured out that the angels were fucking with them.

“Wha… no!” Dean looked startled. “I miss Mom, yeah, but you know how I get when you leave me. I wouldn’t go back to life with Mom if it meant life without you.”

Whoa. Sam had expected the sentiment, but not the passion behind it. Not that he didn’t share both, but right now didn’t seem like the best time for him to say it. “Okay. So, the point there is: a small sample of memories that is being influenced by a bunch of dicks? Not the best way to get a read on someone’s fondest wishes.” Dean just shrugged it off. “Point number three. You were there with me. I didn’t need to remember times with you to have you with me. The entire time I was in Flagstaff, I kept thinking how much better it would be if you were there too. Every day, I picked up the phone to call and beg you to come out to me, but… I was scared.”

“Scared? Scared of what?” Dean asked. “I mean, what, you thought if you called I was gonna bring Dad and drag you away?”

Sam shook his head. “I knew that was gonna happen eventually. What’s the point in fearing the inevitable? I was scared that you would say no. You’d tell me to go to hell and that you didn’t really care if Dad found me or not.”

“Sammy…” Again, Sam could hear a lot more in Dean’s words than just his name. This time, Dean was saying that he would never, that no matter how pissed he was he wouldn’t abandon Sam like that.

“Remember how Joshua said we’d been to Heaven before?” Sam said. “I do remember one thing from being there. After Cold Oak. I thought it was a dream at first, but that didn’t make sense once I’d had the chance to think. I don’t know why I remember it. Maybe because the angels weren’t the ones who sent me back, that time.” He shrugged, watching Dean closely. Dean had tensed up at the simple mention of Cold Oak. “It was in Flagstaff, the day you came for me. Except that when I said I’d go pack, you grabbed my wrist and told me to forget it, asked if I even wanted to go back.”

Dean’s head jerked to Sam, once again shocked, this time with some hurt behind it. “What, like I was gonna leave you there after finding you again? Your heaven was me leaving you?”

Sam smiled. “That’s what I thought, and I was even more miserable than I’d been when I first saw how bad off you were. But no. You said you were there to ask me to let you stay. Of course I agreed, and then…” Sam trailed off, suddenly deciding Dean did not need to know the end of that particular memory. 

“And then what?” Dean asked, naturally.

Sam shrugged, and he knew he wasn’t hiding the fact that he was leaving something out very well. “I don’t know how long it would have lasted, because you brought me back pretty much then. My point here is that heaven, on that visit, was me and you, together, away from Dad. But also that it didn’t start that way, and we were shagging ass through memories instead of letting them play out.”

Sam could tell Dean was starting to think about letting himself believe. “How come you never told me you remembered Heaven?”

“When was I supposed to, Dean? I thought it was a dream, and unless you enjoy boredom and senselessness, you don’t want me telling you about every single one of those.” Sam tangled a hand in his hair in frustration. “And then by the time I knew what had really happened, I also knew that you’d sold your soul. You were bound for Hell, and then you’d gone to Hell and come back. Don’t you think you’d have punched me if I started talking about how I’d gotten a glimpse of Heaven and it was awesome?”

Yeah, not even Dean could argue with that logic. Sam let go of his hair, smoothing it back down carefully. “And, finally, last point. I had you – the real you, not a memory of you or a dream or a hallucination or whatever you want to call the other people we interacted with in our own private Idaho. You were right there. Tell me, if you knew that you were in Heaven, would you rather have memories of me to talk to, or the real thing?” It all came down to this.

Dean took forever to answer, and Sam waited impatiently. He knew it was over when Dean’s body went loose and Dean stretched out comfortably on his bed, reaching for the TV remote. “There are some memories I don’t know that I want you seeing,” Dean said, but he was clearly joking. “C’mon, Sammy. Do you really think I’d choose anyone over you?”

Sam leaned back, glad it was over. “I dunno, someday maybe. When you meet your soulmate or whatever.” Dean was back upright in a flash, and Sam instantly regretted his choice of words. He hadn’t missed Dean’s reaction to Ash’s explanation about people who shared a Heaven. He forced himself to stay loose as he got to his feet so that Dean could hit him.

Somehow, Dean’s eyes hadn’t left his through the process. “I’ve met him,” Dean said quietly. “Lost him too many times already.” He was reaching for Sam and Sam’s stomach was turning flipflops when they heard the rustling of wings.

“Cas, that had better be you or I am going to be kicking some angelic ass right about now,” Dean snarled as he turned away from Sam. Sam agreed.

Fortunately, it was Cas’s gravelly voice that responded. “My apologies. Should I come back later?”

Sam wanted to say yes, but the moment was broken and he knew it. “No, now’s fine,” he said with a sigh. “What do you need?”

“I came to return this,” Cas said, holding out the amulet Dean had worn almost constantly for years. Sam was still getting used to seeing him without it, and it still hurt to think about. “It seems that my quest is over, that I failed. I admit to being somewhat at a loss for where to go from here.”

Dean took the amulet, wrapping a hand around it. “Why’d you wait this long?” he asked, somewhat harshly.

Cas looked briefly to Sam before focusing his intense gaze on Dean. “I was angry, and felt betrayed. I find that when I approach Winchesters from such a position, the conversation becomes more difficult. I feared that if I returned it immediately, you would do something foolish and spiteful. Your own anger was rather… impressive.”

“Cas…” Sam blinked back the jealousy at how much Dean packed into Cas’s name. In this case, he was telling Cas not to be stupid, that they’d been through too much together for Dean to lash out at Cas the way he used to.

Cas caught it too. “I didn’t mean to me. I meant to Sam.” He looked pointedly at the amulet in Dean’s hand. “Such as throwing that away.

Sam and Cas had to catch Dean as he went to sit on a bed that wasn’t behind him. “Throwing it… what the hell, Cas. Sure, it may be so much useless junk to you, but it’s…”

Cas’s gaze did something Sam didn’t think it could, as it grew even more intense. “Dean. You were angry at being told to abandon the quest. You were distraught that the memories you experienced in Heaven were of Sam leaving. You lash out when you’re hurting and angry. Is it really so unthinkable that in lashing out, you might do things you would ordinarily not?”

Sam sat on the bed next to Dean, putting a warning hand on his arm. “Don’t give him any of that ‘I would never’ bullshit,” Sam whispered. “I think everyone here knows that’s exactly what you’d do, and then in an hour you’d be furious at yourself.”

“And by then it would be too late,” Dean said hollowly. “Yeah.” His hand was shaking as he held out the amulet to Sam. “Take it. I don’t…”

Sam took the amulet willingly enough. He looked up at Cas and winked as he quickly slipped it around Dean’s neck. “Next time I see you without it, I’m kicking your ass,” he warned Dean as his brother reached for the golden charm.

Cas’s lips quirked a little. “As will I.” Sam stared at him in shock, and Dean was clearly thrown for a loop as well. Cas misinterpreted. “I was a soldier of heaven. Now, I suppose I’m a soldier of the Winchesters. Even without being at full power, I assure you I am sufficiently strong to administer a beat-down.”

“That’s… not really…” Sam couldn’t find the words.

“I had no idea you had such strong feelings about Sammy, Cas,” Dean said, turning it all into a joke. “Should I give you two some alone time?”

Cas actually managed to look flustered, and Sam had to admit he enjoyed seeing an angel in such a disconcerted state. “My feelings are of no import. I would never take what is yours.” He spoke to Dean, but the intense gaze shifted to Sam, a look of guilt coming into the blue eyes. Sam felt his stomach dropping out from him. He and Dean both had assumed that Cas tolerated Sam because of his bond with Dean, whatever that was.

“He’s not mine, he can do whatever the hell he wants,” Dean said as he stood up to walk out the door.


	2. A New Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas's bombshell brings long-buried secrets to light between the brothers. Dean continues to be insecure and self-sacrificing.

Sam was too shocked to stop him, but as soon as the door slammed, he jumped to his feet. “What the hell, Cas? Don’t go anywhere, don’t even move.” He went after Dean.

He found Dean sitting in the car, head leaning back on the bench in the driver’s seat. Sam got in on the passenger side, saying a prayer of thanks that Dean hadn’t actually gotten around to driving off. “Hey.”

Dean lifted his head, and Sam could see the tears that were threatening to fall. “So. Cas, huh? Who knew.”

“Not me, that’s for sure,” Sam said shakily. “Dean… I know how much he means to you. I didn’t… this wasn’t…” He slumped against the Impala door. “This has got to be the most messed-up love triangle I’ve ever heard of.”

Dean had to chuckle, but Sam could still hear the pain. Dammit, Cas. “So, uh, you don’t…”

Sam turned so that his cheek rested against the window. He had a feeling it was going to get rather warm soon. “Don’t misunderstand me, I can definitely see it happening. Except for two things, but those two things are huge. One: you’re in love with him. Given that he pulled you out of Hell, I think you have the better claim. Not to mention you’re the one who’s supposed to be aligned with the angels, with Michael.”

“Cas rebelled, remember?” Dean reached out and very softly laid his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Maybe the whole Michael’s prom suit thing is the problem. Besides – the only reason anyone with half a brain would ever pick me over you is that I’m the easy one. And I really don’t think Cas cares about that.”

Sam knew that Dean’s opinion of himself sucked. He’d thought he knew just how bad it was, but this was a new low. “That’s not true, Dean. Unless you’re saying I don’t have half a brain.”

Dean snorted. “Not what I meant, Sammy. But, go on. Finish your numbered list.”

“Okay, well, I admit that I don’t exactly have the choice of picking myself,” Sam had to acknowledge. “But just to completely fuck up this night for everyone involved… I know you know there was more to the Flagstaff Heaven story.” Dean gave Sam his very best yeah, not an idiot face. “So, I said you could stay, and then you pulled me close. And you kissed me. And that’s when I came back.”

Dean blinked. “What, like Snow White, a kiss brings the princess back to life?” Off Sam’s look, he added defensively, “I told you, I watched the porn version.”

Sam huffed. “Yeah, well, the porn version must’ve left out the most important element of the story. It took a kiss from Snow White’s true love to bring her back. I don’t think one of the dwarves could do it… and I really don’t want to hear about what the dwarves were doing in the porn version, thank you very much. He waited, watching Dean as the point filtered through the dwarf porn. When it looked like Dean was starting to get it, he continued. “Two: I’m already in love with my soulmate.”

“Sammy…” Sam translated mentally. Dean was saying this was twelve kinds of fucked up, but that he didn’t have the energy to give a shit right now. That he didn’t believe what he thought he was hearing, because it was too good to be true. Because good things did not happen to Dean Winchester. Ever.

Sam already knew what Dean’s primary objection would be. “Dean, you don’t have to protect me from this. I know exactly why it shouldn’t happen, and I know why a shrink would say it did anyway. I also know that if you had shown up to Flagstaff and kissed me, I’d have been yours then. Leaving for Stanford didn’t change that, and when Jessica died, so did my resistance to anything you wanted me to be to you. And if all you want from me is a brother, then I will never mention this again. If you don’t know what you want, then think it through. I’ll be the little brother I’ve been all along until you tell me you want more.” Sure enough, Sam’s face had gone very hot, and he was grateful for the cool glass to at least make one side bearable.”

Dean’s hand on Sam’s shoulder had gone from a soft touch to a death grip as Sam was talking. “And if I say no, you’ll go running to Cas?”

“If you say no, then I’ll probably do what I’ve been doing all along,” Sam said decidedly. “The occasional incredibly ill-advised hookup that turns out to be some kind of monster. I’m not running to Cas unless you can tell me, without lying, that you want me to and that it won’t hurt you.”

Sam could see Dean considering it, considering trying to lie to him. Finally Dean ran a hand over his face. “Shit, Sammy. You weren’t kidding about an incredibly fucking messed-up love triangle here. You really don’t care that I’m your brother?”

Sam grinned. “I used to. But then I saw it another way. Yeah, loving your brother is not something normal people do, and I’m pretty sure in every state acting on it is, technically, illegal – although since we’re both adults, there are some that wouldn’t bother enforcing it. But why the fuck should that be the line that stops us? We’re not normal people, Dean. And we’ve… okay, you’ve… never cared whether something was illegal, as long as no one got hurt. Looking at it that way, I realized that there really isn’t a good reason to care.”

Dean slid over, letting the death grip on Sam’s shoulder change to a firm hold on Sam’s neck. He turned Sam’s face to his, kissing his brother the way he hoped he’d done it in Flagstaff, in Sam’s Heaven. When he pulled back, Sam could feel the way Dean was radiating love, desire, everything. “I guess that’s a pretty good answer,” Sam joked. “Straight to the point. No possibility of misinterpretation or bullshit.” He let himself enjoy the moment just a bit longer. “We need to go talk to Cas.”

“What the… you think he’s still there?” Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. “I didn’t know if I’d get to you before you drove away. I told him not to go anywhere.”

“What, if you couldn’t find me you’d settle?” Dean said, pulling back.

Sam felt torn between laughing hysterically or punching Dean for his complete lack of faith. He settled for just explaining. “No, if you were gone then I was going to hitch on angel taxi and you and me were going to have this out in front of him, if that’s what it took.” He opened his door, pulling Dean with him into the cool night air. “Come on, we do need to talk to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading! Comments are love!


	3. Circling the Wagons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has a few more bombshells to drop before anything can get settled. In the ruins of the walls they've built, the Winchesters and their angel make some decisions.

Not only was Cas still there, he was standing in exactly the same place. It honestly looked like he hadn’t moved at all. Sam forgot sometimes how literal Cas could be. “You found him,” Cas said. “Good.”

Sam exchanged looks with Dean, both of them trying to figure out what exactly to say to the angel now. “Yeah. Um, Cas, uh…”

“I believe you misunderstood me earlier,” Cas said, and now whatever Sam had been about to say flew completely out of his head. “I referred to both of you.” Sam was very glad there was a bed behind them as both he and Dean were floored. Cas sat on the bed opposite them, not blinking, not hesitating. “However, I am well aware of the love you two share.”

“You might’ve clued us in,” Dean muttered.

Sam’s thoughts were racing. He’d been honest with Dean; he would choose Dean over Cas, even if it was just sparing Dean pain. But what if… what if neither of them had to choose? He nearly said a prayer for luck, the habit of twenty-five years not entirely erased by the fact that he’d met angels and been utterly let down by God. He stopped himself only when he realized Cas might just hear it. “Dean?” he said, trying to infuse Dean’s name with the kind of complicated message that Dean was so good at conveying with Sam’s name. It asked if Dean might consider what Sam had in mind.

“Sammy…” Sam relaxed a little. Message received and under consideration. Then Dean got a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “Go on, run to Cas. You won’t be hurting me any.”

“What…” For the second time in one night, Sam got to see a completely flustered angel. The intensity of Cas’s blue eyes was almost completely replaced with confusion and just a bit of fear.

Moving in unison, both Winchesters switched to sit on the same bed as Cas, one on each side. Both boys took the hand nearest them, lacing their fingers through Cas’s and holding on tight. Of course, if Cas wanted to, he could always blink out no matter how tightly they held. “So, here’s the thing, Cas,” Sam said.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but me and Sammy, we’re not always the most communicative of brothers. And when we do, it has a tendency of going horribly wrong instead of horribly right.” Sam snorted. Understatement of the year.

“So, we honestly didn’t know until tonight what you did, how we belong together,” Sam picked up. “But it was pretty fucking obvious to me that Dean has a huge thing for you.”

“Never occurred to either of us that you were even capable of that kind of thing. From the way Anna talked…” Dean said.

“I rebelled,” Cas pointed out. “I saw no point in holding on to that rule.”

Sam squeezed Cas’s hand. “See, we didn’t know if Anna meant that it was forbidden or that it was literally impossible. Even just forbidden, you rebelled for Dean. We both thought you just tolerated me for him. You didn’t exactly see me at my best over that first year, and then I freed Lucifer.”

“Only because of Zachariah,” Cas said. He looked… ashamed? “And me.”

“Okay, you’re gonna need to explain that one,” Sam said. “I chose to start drinking demon blood. I chose to lie to Dean about it until it was way too fucking late. I chose to do what Ruby said I had to, to be strong enough. Where do you or Zachariah come in to any of that?”

Cas turned to look at Dean, and judging by the way Dean’s face changed, the intensity was back full force. “How do you think you got out of Dean’s intervention? I released you, on Heaven’s orders. I knew it was wrong. I can never forgive myself. Without that, Lucifer would still be trapped.” He turned to look at Sam. “There was still a chance. There is something you need to hear. Sam, Dean, give me your phones.”

Sam looked around Cas at Dean, not as surprised as he probably should have been. He’d figured the angels had let him out once he learned that they had never intended to stop the Apocalypse at all, but that it was Cas… that was a painful shock. Still, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, letting go of Cas’s hand to give him the phone. Dean followed suit.

“This is Zachariah, making sure that the last chance was gone. This is what pushed me over the line. Why I rebelled.” Cas looked from one Winchester to the other. “Sam, you were pulling back, were you not? You wanted to not go over that last edge.”

Sam winced, remembering how it felt that night, standing there with Ruby, listening to the woman’s cries as he struggled with himself. How it all came down to Dean’s words in their last fight, and how Dean’s voicemail had made Sam believe that Dean really did mean it. He’d hoped that killing Lilith would kill him, then. “Yeah. I guess I lost the thin thread of hope I was cling… you’re not going to play that, are you? Cas, please, please do not make me go through that. Not tonight.” Sam didn’t care that it sounded like he was begging. He was.

“I know I am asking a lot here, Sam. But please, have faith.” Cas pressed a button, and the words that had broken Sam started to play. Sam closed his eyes, burying his head in his fists, hoping that would keep back the tears, knowing that nothing could stop the shaking or the bruises to his soul.

Dean’s voice came out, crisp and clear. “Listen to me, you blood-sucking freak. Dad always said I’d have to save you or kill you. Well, I’m giving you fair warning. I’m done trying to save you. You’re a monster, Sam, a vampire. You’re not you anymore. And there’s no going back.”

Dean was on his feet before the first sentence was done, pacing angrily. “I am going to kill that son of a bitch,” he snarled when the message clicked off. “That stupid, sorry-ass, smug, self-righteous son of a BITCH!” He turned and punched the wall, hard enough to knock a hole in it. “Sammy, that’s not… I never…”

Cas handed Sam back his phone. “That was the message Zachariah wanted you to hear, Sam. That message broke you as they intended. Even if Dean had not called, you would have gotten it. Probably.” He pressed the button on Dean’s phone. “This is what Dean actually said.”

Once again, an impossibly sharp for voicemail Dean’s voice came to life. “Hey, it’s m-me. Look, I’ll just get right to it. I’m still pissed, I owe you a serious beatdown, but… I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m not Dad. We’re brothers, you know? We’re family. And no matter how bad it gets, that doesn’t change. Sammy, I’m sorry.”

Sam’s head had come up in confusion when the message started differently. He lost it when Dean called him Sammy, letting the tears flow as he looked at his brother. “I never heard this. Dean, if I’d gotten the real message…”

“I’ll hold his arms, you wield the blade,” Dean said. “Reverse Ruby.” He took his phone back when Cas held it out to him.

Castiel stood reluctantly. “I should go,” he said.

“Don’t you dare, we’re not done here,” Dean snapped. “You don’t get to distract us with how thoroughly fucked over we were by Heaven and then sneak off before we get things settled, Cas.”

“I was not sneaking,” Cas protested. “I announced my intention to leave.”

“Whatever,” Dean said, and Sam quite thoroughly agreed with Dean’s attitude. “Now, I have done more talking about my feelings and getting weepy tonight than I have in years. So I am going to say this once, and once only.” He turned to Sam. “I didn’t say it in the car, so I’m saying it now. I love you, Sammy. I’m all in, whatever you want.” He turned back to Cas. “You are one of the stubbornest, most frustrating sons of bitches I have ever met, Cas. And I love you. And just so there’s no misunderstanding here, I mean the kind of love where I want you in the Impala with us on those long drives from Nowhere to Wherever, the kind where I get you down on the bed and kiss you until you can’t remember your own name, the kind where there is exactly one thing I will not do for you. I won’t betray Sammy.”

The hope that had been dawning in Cas’s eyes as Dean spoke died suddenly. “I understand,” he whispered. Strange to hear Cas whisper.

“No, I don’t think you do,” Dean said. “I’ve had it pointed out to me twice tonight that there are a whole bunch of lines that have entirely lost any meaning for the three of us. I know there’s a word for what Sammy and I are offering, here. I don’t know what it is, though I bet Sam could come up with it. But I don’t need it.” He winked at Sam. “I also got told tonight that sometimes it’s easier without ‘em.” He crossed the room quickly, throwing an arm around Cas’s shoulders and tipping his head down to kiss the angel.

Sam came over to them, wrapping one long arm around Dean’s waist and the other around Cas’s. Cas pulled back from Dean, looking from him to Sam and back in confusion. “You said you wouldn’t betray Sam.”

“And he won’t,” Sam said softly. “But I’m standing right here. It’s not a betrayal if I sign off on it.” He gently nudged Dean, who shifted enough to let Sam turn Cas toward him. “And I did, as long as he gives me the same opportunity.” He bent over to take his turn pressing his lips to Cas’s. When he pulled back, Sam gave him a smile. “It’s your call, Cas. One of us, both of us, neither of us… whatever you want, it’s okay. We’re willing to give it to you.” Sam looked at Dean affectionately. “And unlike this emotionally stunted manchild, I’m willing to tell you I love you as often as you wanna hear it.” He pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple. “You too, of course.”

“Holy fuck,” Dean muttered as Cas’s eyes went from confused and scared to blazing and intense in nothing flat. “Uh, Sam… we’re forgetting something,” he said. “Or someone, really.”

Sam exchanged a quick, panicked glance with Dean. “Jimmy,” Sam whispered. “Shit.”

Cas, the bastard, actually smiled. “Jimmy is not a problem.”

Dean pulled his arm from around Sam to facepalm. “Don’t you tell me that this is gonna get even more messed up and complicated than it already is.”

“No.” Cas pulled free of them. “You might want to cover your eyes.” Sam obeyed, and was glad he did. A brilliant white light flared, leaving Sam seeing stars just from where it had slipped through the cracks between his fingers. 

The light disappeared, and Sam heard a thump that was unmistakably the sound of a body hitting the floor. He risked peeking, then dropped his hands entirely as he saw Cas… or Jimmy… crumpled lifelessly on the floor. “Dean!” he shouted, dropping to his knees beside whoever it was and checking for a pulse. “Dean, he’s not breathing, there’s no pulse.”

There was a very loud, very annoying hum then. “Sammy, cover your eyes,” Dean said. “Cas is coming back in.”

This time, when the light faded, Cas was standing as though nothing had happened. “Jimmy is not a problem. When Raphael destroyed his body, Jimmy’s soul was freed. When I was brought back, this vessel was created in the image of Jimmy. I suspect that   
was so that you would recognize me.” He looked between the Winchesters, still with the blue-hot intensity. “Were Jimmy still in here, I would want nothing from either of you. There are some lines that remain of import. As this body is mine alone, I am free to accept your offer.” Cas held out a hand to each of the Winchesters. “I love you both. How does this work?”

Sam took Cas’s hand, Dean taking the other. “I don’t know either,” Sam admitted. “I guess we make it up as we go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, deciding it's finished and anywhere else I take this particular verse can go up as a sequel! Or a tag chapter if I ever get comfortable writing smut.

**Author's Note:**

> First published fic for Supernatural! Hope y'all enjoy and leave comments!


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